love your city

fare well
November 25, 2010, 00:47
Filed under: trill

la dernière valse du 14 juillet 1949, paris. robert doisneau.

this is a post that i started quite some time ago, found amongst the 66 drafts i have going. i started it when i was going through a phase where i was pondering suicide a lot. the concept, not the act. it’s repercussions, it’s validity, it’s reasons, it’s benefits. i read this article about a man in the amazon who is the last surviving member of his tribe, everyone else was killed by greedy foresters. for 15 years now, FIFTEEN YEARS,  he has been waking-living-sleeping-repeating alone, every day, alone. think about that for a minute. it’s so easy for me to say that suicide would have been my clear choice in that situation and though suicide is almost an impossible subject to approach, we all have our ideas about it and yet any conclusions that we form about it can be so easily shattered. maybe he feels like he still has something to live for and maybe suicide was just never a part of his society and maybe we just have no idea and will never have any idea. in some societies, suicide is as noble as it is necessary. and then there are situations where maybe there are people relying on you and for that reason alone you should not do it…

but what if no one is relying on you to love them or mother them or feed them? what if there cometh a time where you feel your mind or body failing? where you feel at peace and ready to die without the embarrassment of the ravages of disease or age? should you then not have the right to bow out gracefully?

while i was wrestling these thoughts, i was reading farewell waltz by the great milan kundera. he swept in and summed up for me so clearly what i had been trying to wrap my head around.

“what is it?” asked olga.
jakub savoured the young woman’s inquiring silence for a moment and then went on: “i’ve had this tablet for more than fifteen years. after my year in prison, there was one thing i understood. you need to have at least one certainty: to remain in control of your own death and of the ability to choose its time and manner. with that certainty, you can put up with a lot of things. you know you can get away from people whenever you want…in this country you never know when you’re going to need a thing like that. and then, for me it was a matter of principle. every person should be given a poison tablet on the day he reaches maturity. a solemn ceremony should take place on that occasion. not to prompt him to suicide, but, on the contrary, to allow him to live more securely and serenely. to live knowing he’s in control of his own life and his own death.”



3 Comments so far
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very interesting.

i don’t know that EVERYONE should be runnin wild with cyanide pills, but its interesting to reflect on different attitudes about death. It’s one of few things every human regardless of gender,race,nationality will experience

Comment by BT

Hi Darina! I was surfing facebook and came across your (very interesting) blog. On a topic related to this post, if you haven’t already read Camus, check out his essay “An Absurd Reasoning” ( , starts around page 4).
– Srivatsa

Comment by Srivatsa Marthi

thanks sriv!! welcome, i hope you come back often. ❤

Comment by darinka

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